The Man Behind the Mask

  • August 07, 2012

Many men come to therapy when they are at rock bottom, completely out of options, desperate for something to change.  I notice that my female clients are more likely to get help before everything completely implodes – why is that? 

 

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The Father Wound

  • July 29, 2012

 

If you are a man who has a difficult past or present relationship with your dad – you're in good company.  So many men have rocky relationships with their dad's that continue to be a source of frustration, sadness, and disconnect well into adulthood.  Men often worry what kind of father they will be able to be, wondering if they will be able to offer their sons and daughters something more than their fathers were able to give them.  

I think this poem by Rick Belden captures the mixed feelings men can have about their fathers: the desire to be close, to feel his approval, to be accepted and loved even though their dad may not be fully capable of giving these things.  

 

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Ditch the Fear of Failure

  • July 13, 2012

"What great thing would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?"   Robert H. Schuller

Well?  What would it be?  Think about it. 

Ok, now think about what would constitute “failure” in this scenario? 

  • Does it mean you would try to run a marathon and not cross the finish line?
  • Does it mean you would try to learn Mandarin and not become a fluent speaker? 
  • Does it mean you would ask someone out on a date and get turned down?

 

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No More Mr. Nice Guy (part 2)

  • July 10, 2012

 

In part 1, we talked about the Myths of Being Nice.  Those seductive false promises that Being Nice whispers in your ear.  

 

Is Being Nice (rather than Being Real) really hurting anyone?  Why should you reconsider your relationship with Being Nice?

 

You aren't hurting anyone directly but you are hurting your chances of being close to people that you care about.  

Being Nice has a dark side….it's called CONTROL.

 

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No More Mr. Nice Guy (part 1)

  • July 10, 2012

 

  • Do you often find yourself telling white lies to spare others feelings?
  • Do you choose to be resentful and bitter rather than confront someone about something that's bothering you?
  • Do you pride yourself on being a "nice person" who "gets along with everyone"?

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How Therapy Can Improve Your Knuckleball

  • June 29, 2012

A really interesting NPR Fresh Air interview with 37 year-old New York Mets pitcher R.A. Dickey.  In his new memoir, Wherever I WInd Up, he talks about his baseball career, developing his knuckleball, and his painful childhood.  Dickey was raised by his alcoholic mother and was sexually abused as a child – a secret he kept for 23 years.  Dickey talks about how therapy changed his life and improved his knuckleball. 

Read or Listen to the Interview